Pappa wants mamma naked
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you will always have a special place in my vag
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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