If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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