I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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