I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This is my gift to your gina
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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