I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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