I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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