go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
