Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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