I just saw a hot homeless man
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
