Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
where are you?
Hypothermia
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
