So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
