Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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