I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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