dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
