If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
