go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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