idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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