We're like a lot better than the average bears
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
