About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
