anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
