Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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