I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
