So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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