How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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