you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
