dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
