Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
