i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
