seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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