Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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