My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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