Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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