just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
