I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
