Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
