Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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