He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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