You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
