I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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