i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
