No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
