I think my fart just growled at me.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
