Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
