i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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