it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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