I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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