remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
