i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
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