Taylor Swift is so right about you.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
