I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
