this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
