I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
