so explain again why im purple
no
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
