i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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